Mind Games (sports psychology) You're a Failure... And stronger because of it! by Dr. Rick Jensen "Failure." Say it again..."FAILURE!" The word evokes some strong and perhaps familiar feelings, and for most, these feelings aren't necessarily the most positive of ones. What feelings come to mind when you hear the word "failure?" As children, our first exposure to the term "failure" was probably in school, when we were evaluated by whether we passed or FAILED. As students, we worked hard to pass exams and to pass from one grade to another at the end of each year. Academia supported and rewarded passing and frowned upon failing. The message conveyed was "failure is to be avoided." Furthermore, "failure" is relative. For some students, failure meant getting a failing grade on an exam or having to repeat a grade of school. For others, failure was defined by "not performing up to one's own expectations." How do you define "failure?" The dictionary defines failure as "the act of falling short of an end or purpose." Thus, how we define the "end or purpose" and who defines it has a large impact on whether or not we experience failure. In golf, failure may be experienced at a number of different levels...losing a match, missing a cut, hitting a ball out of bounds, missing a 3-foot putt, or playing above your handicap. Depending upon your definition of failure, golf can present plenty of opportunities for you to "fail." Regardless of your handicap, in the game of golf you often "fall short of your desired end." You miss putts that you expect to make, shoot scores that are undesirable, and may even finish a tournament asking yourself, "Why did I even show up?" It is safe to say that all golfers have and will continue to experience failure in some fashion while on the golf course. Part of the beauty of the game of golf lies in the blend of success and failure that players experience in the game. One minute you are sinking a 30 foot putt for par, the next minute your ball is sinking in a lateral water hazard. In a round of golf, you can be on your way to the best round of your life, and four holes and three double bogeys later, your dreams are put off for another day. Golf's a beautiful game, and failure is part of that beauty. Players who do not deal well with failure may find golf to be a very frustrating sport. Until one acknowledges that failure is an unavoidable, inherent quality in the game itself, one will never be able to enjoy the game to its fullest. Without an understanding of the role failure plays in the game of golf, players will continue to cope with its presence through counterproductive means: making excuses, blaming someone else, rationalizing, berating themselves, feeling miserable, whining, and even avoiding playing the game. The real issue is not whether you will fail, but how you deal with it when it happens. As Vince Lombardi once said, "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up." Top golfers have learned to face failure head on and use their mental toughness to get back up after being knocked down. Touring Pros do not fear failing or avoid situations where failure is likely; instead, they prepare themselves to minimize the chances of failure and then they push the limits of their talents on the golf course. When failure presents itself, top players cope with it, learn from it, and move on. Arnold Palmer was known for his willingness to attack a golf course. Is there any question that his approach would be accompanied by many "learning opportunities?" Arnold asserts, "Even when I have been playing at my worst, or when all the breaks have been going against me, I approach each new day, each new hole, as a glorious opportunity to get going again." Arnold Palmer's ability to look forward rather than dwell on past failures is a common quality of world class athletes. Chris Evert, one of the most accomplished tennis champions in history used a similar approach to dealing with failure. "I was consistent over a long period of time because I never looked back, never dwelled on my defeats. I always looked ahead." Dealing with failure on the golf course is a skill. Champions have developed that skill. You can, too. Recognize that failure is a part of the game. Embrace it, cope with it, learn from it, and move on. Take a lesson from one of golf's greats &endash; "The first thing I do after losing, regardless of whether I lost a close one because of a silly lapse or simply was snowed under by a rival running on a hot streak, is to forget it. I take a look at my calendar and start thinking about where we'll be playing next week, and I'll show 'em then!" &endash; Nancy Lopez   Dr. Rick Jensen is President of the Performance Enhancement Center at Polo Trace Country Club and the Director of Sport Psychology at the Academy of Golf, PGA National Resort and Spa. He works extensively with touring pros on the PGA, LPGA, Senior PGA and Nike Tours, and is a frequent speaker at golf clubs nationwide. He can be reached at 561-852-3603.